A Proper Education
by bluemeanies
Summary: Severus Snape evaluates his OWLS results and contemplates his roommates, his mother, Lily Evans, his teachers and why Bertram Aubrey doesn't count. No pairings.


_Ancient Runes-O_

He had never understood why others found this so hard. It was basically memorization and vocabulary. He had looked over his mother's old papers multiple times before even coming to Hogwarts, seeking to be as prepared as possible when he got there. She had thought it silly when his ten year old self would ask her to go over it, cajoling him to play with her instead. She had even managed to get him to roller skate with her on occasion instead of studying, his lanky clumsy self-causing her sister to let out gales of laughter as he learned to balance. He had eventually learned how to work the skates and keep up with the girl smiling all the way, but in retrospect it was a waste of time. She had rejected him, and at school his real friends appreciated Runes more than silly muggle things, what with their use in many complicated spells and their families seeing knowledge of Runes a mark of a proper educated wizard. Evan, Darren and Sean had been more than happy to study Runes with him, though he doubted that they had understood it even half as well as she did when he led them through their review. He wondered if any of them had made the grade to continue on next year or if he had failed to guide them. Still his O was only to be expected, and in the back of his mind he thought that she should have at least made an E.

_Arithmancy-O_

Of course, if she had then next year he might have another class like Arithmancy. She had been excited to see a subject that she supposed was similar to the 'maths' that she had learned in her muggle school. His father had insisted that his mother teach him that while she homeschooled him so he had had 'maths' notebooks that he would be left alone to work through alone because mother had not understood them herself. He had appreciated how logical and ordered it had been, so when the girl said that she wanted to take this class he was happy to take it with her so that they can learn together. His roommates were put off by how difficult they had heard it was by relations, so he, Bertram Aubrey (who didn't count) and one of those snooty giggly girls who always ignored him had been the only Slytherins to take it. Luckily the Gryffindor dingbats had avoided it also, probably because it looked like too much thinking. Thus the class became one of his rare refuges when he was having problems with his housemates, or when he was having problems with her classmates. He even had managed to make cordial acquaintance with several of the Ravenclaws in the class who wouldn't go near him in the hallway because of antipathy with his friends. If things had stayed the same he would have been glad to have two classes like that, but now he dreaded it. He wondered if he should drop it.

_Astronomy-O_

If he did, though, he'd have to explain to his mother why he would drop two classes in which he had gotten an O on his O.W.L.S., and disappointing his mother was one of the things that he hated to do. Astronomy had been one of her favorites, the lessons of his where she was most at ease. Because it was also a muggle and therefore 'normal' subject his father had bought a muggle telescope for Christmas when he was seven, the nicest thing he could ever remember his father doing. On clear nights in his youth his mother would take him to the roof of their council housing and instruct him on the stars. In the cool night air with a breeze through her hair his mother had seemed an entirely different person. She would become animated while showing him the North Star and its significance in determining the alignment of ley lines. He thought that he had actually seen her smile while explaining why Venus was in retrograde and what it meant for the growth and potency of various flytraps.

Contrary to the rumors about the dark arts that had followed him throughout school, this had been the subject that he had devoted himself to as a child, the one he knew inside out. At Hogwarts it had been a complete disappointment. It was a waste of his time; time that would be much better spent studying more powerful and useful subjects. He already knew what the teacher was showing them as his teeth chattered while the cold went through his tattered second hand robes in a way they never had in his muggle clothes. Even on unbearably hot days in June he would shiver, something about the tower always made it feel that someone had walked over his grave.

_Care of Magical Creatures-E_

And this was the class that was likely to put him there. Professor Kettleburn had as much disregard for his student's safety as he did his own and on several occasions he had barely avoided being mauled or burned or eaten. He had only taken the class because it would help him understand his potions ingredients better, and he now deeply regretted it. He had no affinity for the creatures and very little interest in interacting with them. It was even worse that his roommates had unexpectedly been good at it so he didn't even have his normal satisfaction of being better than those pureblood dolts. Darren Mulciber could look a Hippogriff in the eye, bow and get the animal to bow in response within a second. He would wait for almost an entire minute until the Hippogriff would charge him down and send him running back to the castle. Evan Rosier and Sean Avery would manage to capture their bowtruckles and keep them docile for half an hour while they sketched. His would bite and squirm and scratch leaving him with nothing to turn in at the end of class. Bertram Aubrey didn't count. He was sure that he had only squeaked out that E because of the written portion and the fact that one of the surprise creatures for the test had been a Sphinx, allowing him to be clever and answer a riddle from a distance. Still, this class would be definitely dropped. Definitely, definitely dropped.

_Charms-E_

But Charms would be a much harder call. He rather liked Charms; it was the subject that the girl was best at. When they could study together, him away from the eyes of his roommates who didn't approve of her and her away from her housemates who didn't approve of him, this was his second favorite just to see her enthusiasm. Those study sessions, he suspected, had been the only reason he was competent in this area of pointless wand waving. She was the best of the year so if he was in the class he would be able to watch her natural grace and warmth as she sent objects flying, pineapples dancing and his heart breaking. He wouldn't be the only one watching. He was sure that the frightful foursome would be there, following Potter. Unless he could convince Sean to help him (the only boy in the dorm who was any good at Charms besides Bertram Aubrey who didn't count) he would embarrass himself in front of them. And he wasn't sure how he'd react if he was embarrassed in front of them again.

_Defense Against the Dark Arts-O_

He should not be so enraged with a top score. His favorite subject should not elicit such shame. But somehow a blood traitor, a werewolf, an idiot and a Potter had managed to turn his greatest triumph in the OWLS into a great failure. Would it have hurt them to have just left him alone? He was sitting alone, not hurting anybody going over his notes again because he needed to be sure that he had managed to learn the subject despite the inconsistent and incompetent tutelage of five teachers in five years. So much would be different if they only had. She would not have turned her back on him and right now they'd be looking over these scores together discussing their future.

He knew that his other friends were alienating her and causing strain between them, but he wasn't willing for their relationship to break yet. Apparently she was and none of his apologies in the last week of school or visiting her house during the summer had managed to move her. He had to resign himself to that. Or he had to become even better, even quicker, and even deadlier so that no one could force him into a corner again, and hopefully impress her enough to get her back. Yes the defense classes were useless with their revolving door of professors, yes he learned more in the clandestine study of the actual dark arts he shared with his roommates, and yes he was sure that his own secret experiments would be more useful than all the stuffy textbooks, but this O was definitely a step in the right direction.

_Herbology-O_

He was unsure which direction this O was a step in. Yes he was good at it, and yes he was always the one that his group turned to when the lesson called for something difficult. Professor Aphides certainly took a shine to him and seemed to want to take him under her wing, but he was only interested in the class for three reasons. The first was that it was part of the curriculum and he was never going to turn his back on learning from the experts (as opposed to idiots like Kettleburn). The second was that the knowledge gained was useful for his potion brewing, both by the book and experimental. The last, and most important, was that good notes for Herbology sold for the highest prices on the Hogwart's black market of any class. The lessons were always practical and student's hands were always covered in dirt and grime and who knows what, so note taking was always difficult, sporadic and often completely illegible because of dirt stains. His roommates copied his meticulous notes until third year, when the girl had taught him a charm to create multiple copies. Helping his roommates was something he did for only favors and friendship in return and he had never sold anything on the black market before because she disapproved. This had cost him the chance to earn enough money to upgrade his wardrobe and books to new things, or at least higher quality used, but he was willing to forgo it for her sake. Now, knowing that there was nothing he could do to stop her from disapproving, he was preparing to enter the black market with a vengeance. Notes were the most innocent things he could sell so he would take Herbology next year.

_History of Magic-O_

History of Magic would make it a brace of classes he was taking for profit. It had always been a class he paid attention to more for how he could benefit from it than the specific knowledge gained. Because Bertram Aubrey didn't count.

Before entering the school all his roommates had been drilled in wizard genealogy so that they could determine who was worth knowing and who wasn't. Evan Rosier complained about his mother dropping him off at Grimmauld Place to learn with the Black children where the lessons were frequently interrupted by the now infamous Sirius Black. Darren Mulciber had been tutored alone, but had spent the lessons working out how to get his tutor to give him ice cream and candy instead of caring about who was whose great aunt. Sean Avery had dutifully learnt the family trees at his father's behest, then dutifully listened as his mother had complained that it was nonsense and back in America where she had grown up the only wizards who could trace their ancestry to even four magical grandparents were either Native American or Jewish. Bertram Aubrey took it seriously.

The very first night at Hogwarts Aubrey had questioned all of his roommates on their lineage and had looked on Evan and Darren with approval, Sean with skepticism and himself with utter loathing. When he had protested his mother's lineage, the boy had had the audacity to proclaim, "The Princes don't count, tell me about your father." The first months at school Aubrey had worked to form a group out of all the boys except Severus Snape into the closest of friends, leaving him utterly lonely. He wasn't sure that he could have got through that if it wasn't for the girl, but that was an entirely different matter.

He set himself to break into their circle and he saw two openings. The first was that Aubrey was openly dismissive of the new powerful dark wizard emerging from the shadows. "If he can't use his real name, how could we tell he is pure, and if he isn't pure how can we trust him on blood issues." The other boys, all of whose fathers were supportive of this wizard, were upset by this. He wasn't sure of the Dark Lord then (and truth be told not even entirely so now), but his politely curious questions when Aubrey was gone were better received. The second opening was Aubrey's frequent absences from study groups. Aubrey liked to spend time with his Rookwood cousins, being a Rookwood on his mother's side, so he was frequently out preferring the company of Ravenclaws and girl Ravenclaws at that. (Not that his associating with girl mudblood Gryffindors was well received either.) Aubrey was the most academic of the bunch, taking the best notes and understanding the material best, but the other three were smart enough to manage in everything but History of Magic. Binns was so boring and dry that they all slept through his class. He had a habit of nodding off himself, but seeing his opening he forced himself to listen and take notes and be prepared. One Tuesday in November the boys convened their study circle with Aubrey absent and struggled with History. He volunteered to help. By January he was a regular participant in the study groups when Aubrey was absent. By April they told Aubrey to either accept him in the group or leave. Aubrey left, because Bertram Aubrey didn't count and he had made sure of that.

_Potions-O_

This grade was completely obvious to everyone. Or at least it should have been completely obvious to everyone but Slughorn never seemed to notice him. Potions lessons were always 'Lily Evans this, Bertram Aubrey that'. Lily because she was good at it (of course she was, she worked with him after all and he made sure of it). Bertram Aubrey because he was related to the secretive (and anti-Dark Lord) Rookwood clan especially his uncle, Old Gus Rookwood, Chief Unspeakable. And maybe he had some talent. A smidge. But not enough for Slughorn to see him as a genius when there was another boy in class who understood the material and brewed much better. Sure, he was spending half of his classes experimenting, trying to find a better recipe. But that was only because he had to have a better recipe to get some notice, letting Lily follow the instructions for more cheaply earned praise. Sure, half the times his experiments were utter failures. But only once had he produced a truly dangerous concoction causing the evacuation of the entire dungeon. His written work got top grades, but if Slughorn ever looked at him it was with fear and concern rather than approval. Darren had speculated that this was Slughorn's method of challenging him because Sluggy knew he was the best student of the year and he wanted to see the experiments. But Severus knew that was a lie. This was a man who made Bertram Aubrey a prefect. Truly he must be invisible to his head of house.

_Transfiguration-A_

Now, to McGonagall he was all too visible. He didn't understand why he was such a failure in changing one thing into another, but it had always been his block. Darren and Evan always seemed to get it with little effort and Sean could with a little study. They had all helped him learn the material, but he could never get the results he expected for himself. Lily had tried as well, despite her protests that Potter and Black and even Pettigrew were better than her. McGonagall would be patient with his failures, only once losing her patience with his lack of patience. She had even offered to give him remedial lessons, which he refused because he could not live with the shame of being in 'Remedial Transfiguration'. He would not miss the class, even if she was the professor who noticed him the most. He did not want to be known for being merely 'Acceptable'.

Severus Snape put down his OWLS results on his desk. Overall he knew it was a good result, a sign that he was succeeding at Hogwarts and had positioned himself well for his future. However, looking across the room at the skates that Lily had bought him for his eleventh birthday and his mother had charmed to always fit his feet, he wondered if the grade that he truly deserved was a P.

**Authors Note: **JKR owns, I do not. Read and review.


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